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One ‘feature’ of XP is the ability of one application to steal the focus from another. This is the reason why your chat window looses focus when someone else buzzes you on Yahoo! messenger. [That’s still ok.. Imagine playing NFS MostWanted when your antivirus alerts you that it has been updated. 😀 ]
If you find that annoying, here [Save the text as somethin.vbs and run it] is a workaround for preventing an application from stealing focus.